Life has a way of surprising us, doesn’t it?
Sometimes in a good way, but also sometimes in a ‘knock you off your feet’ kind of way. One moment we’re moving forward with our lives and plans, and then next minute, we’re thrown a curveball that shifts everything and throws all other plans out the window.
Recently, I found myself on the receiving end of one of these curveballs.
Between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, my dad was hospitalised with pneumonia, which was considered an escalation of his emphysema / COPD condition.
Dad has now been at home since New Year’s Eve and thankfully, his condition has improved to a more comfortable and stable level for him.
However, his overall condition has declined and he is now needing ongoing care to get through his day without exhausting (and potentially hurting) himself.
Whilst we have got some assistance being provided to help Dad with his personal care, he still needs additional support. So, as it’s just Dad and I since Mum passed away a couple of years ago, I made the decision to quit my job to provide this support and coordinate his care.
This was not an easy choice. It impacts my professional and financial progress, along with the associated personal goals (e.g. getting back into the property market within the next year) and it has forced me to reimagine what my future looks like and its timeline, now that my present is different.
But as the dust settles, I’ve realised there’s a silver lining to this significant life change.
This unexpected chapter has given me the time and space to focus on something I’ve dreamed of for years — another personal goal that I’ll share more about in my next newsletter.
For now, let me say this: sometimes, the curveballs life throws us, though hard to catch, can steer us toward opportunities we might never have taken otherwise.
A Tool for Navigating Change
For me, change is something I am very used to, as I did not have the most stable life growing up.
But that does not mean I find change easy, particularly when that change has been thrusted upon me.
So, when I was going through the process of trying to decide whether or not I quit my job to provide Dad’s ongoing care, I kept thinking back to a powerful set of questions I was reminded of in a recent edition of my friend, Andrew Hollo’s, newsletter — Reframing Change Leadership.
These four powerful questions were instrumental in helping me find clarity and perspective amidst this change:
What can I still do, that I could do before?
What can’t I do, that I could do before?
What can I do, that I couldn’t do before?
What can’t I do, that I couldn't do before either?
At first glance, these questions may seem simple, but they’re powerful when you take the time to reflect on them deeply. Let me share how I’ve used them to navigate my current situation.
Applying the Four Questions
1. What can I still do, that I could do before?
Even though my professional life has shifted, I can still use the skills I’ve honed over the years. I can still write, coach, and create content that (hopefully) inspires others. Caring for my dad hasn’t taken away my ability to work towards my vision, albeit in a different capacity and at a different pace.
2. What can’t I do, that I could do before?
This change means I no longer have the financial stability of a full-time job or the regular interactions with colleagues that came with it. With my Dad also an hour north of the city, it also means I do not have the same ease I had before to network, attend events and participate in activities in and around the city as I did when I was working in the city. Acknowledging these limitations has been hard but necessary.
3. What can I do, that I couldn’t do before?
With the flexibility of not being tied to a 9-5 office job, I now have the opportunity to pour my energy into achieving a goal I’ve held close to my heart for years. I also have the gift of spending more meaningful time with my Dad — something I wouldn’t trade for anything. This change has forced me to prioritise what matters most.
4. What can’t I do, that I couldn't do before either?
This shift has made me more intentional about boundaries. I’ve realised I can no longer spread myself thin or say "yes" to every opportunity that comes my way. Instead, I’ve become laser-focused on activities that align with my long-term goals and values.
Finding the Silver Lining
Answering these questions has not only helped me process this life transition but also reminded me that there is often a silver lining in unexpected change. It’s not always obvious at first, but with time and reflection, it becomes clearer.
Over to You
When life throws you a curveball, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed. But I encourage you to take a deep breath, grab a journal, and work through these four questions. They might just help you uncover new opportunities and find clarity amidst the chaos.
Change is never easy, but it’s in these moments of uncertainty that we have the greatest opportunity to lead ourselves well.
I Would Love To Know
What curveballs has life thrown your way and how did you navigate them?
Until next time,
Crystal McKendrick
P.S. Did you notice the new banner? There are more changes coming, so keep an eye out for my upcoming newsletter where I will share with you what I am planning on doing this year and how you can be part of this next part of my journey!
If you liked this edition of Lead Self | Lead Well, please send some love my way by clicking the ‘heart’ button or commenting your response to today’s question above.
Great newsletter Crystal - and good decision-making, along with your process for making a difficult choice, in a way which leave you feeling that it's both emotionally and practically right.